A Hopeful First

Calm trees, yields the slow,
necessary for my overwhelming steady,
my mind needs serenity
simple desires of muted glee
unknown paths, unable to grasp control,
problems are pushed, always hidden by static,
help is never the answer in this sweet, fragile, tiny mess of a flower,
sprinklers, oh my the sprinklers,
distractions amongst the purity,
preoccupation is the game
be it from my heart of my lust or soul,
the present is troubling but bright horizons are bittersweet,
blind faith shatters my false security,
i am scared,
definitive lines are scarce in this spine,
i just want to know the end,
please skip the struggle and encircle joy
no tipsy reality, its just not that,
tears, please wash away this fight,
i know i need it, but i want it not,
defeated streams round my cheeks,
as i look up, i see a gentle reassuring normal,
my blues are sparkling now,
i comfortingly stroke my lower lip,
again masking the noise,
uncertain fear, ever-black changes,
there is just so much worry,
nonsense worry, that is never the point,
damn this time, reminded by thirst,
i just want that sore throat again,
physical exertion of mindless fun,
calmed with a carefree stretch,
present, i want the present,
a teethy smile provides one of my own,
love is all around me, surrounded by snot,
these concrete paths toward nature,
patched from time and broke,
guiding me to my place of beauty,
of clear sky, grass of greener, and as the water grows it will bring a homey clarity,
a figure eight of security,
the first journey has broken the glass,
presences blossoms aid,
this present holds a motionless peace and real warmth,
warmth in my heart and in my skin,

I want this everyday,

I just hope I will.

Cowriter: anonymous



Copyright © 2014

Dark Horns

Have you given up on me?

Moved on and onto better ones,

It’s my turn, I know,

But do I still sit back and vacuum in,

Or do I take a stance?

Despite our ticking clock of a bomb,

The sand keeps sinking

And we are becoming forked,

Is it for the better?

Is it inevitable?

May at May,

With cap and gown near,

Am I slipping? Are you slipping?

Outloud self-centeredness gut punches

The most selfish of all,

For a taste of own’s poison

Is a double-edged sword,

But what do I do now?

Make a silent exit and preserve what is left

With pickle juice and facade,

Or speak out with a tongue of fury and fortitude,

For what… May?

It’s too little time to care now,

I have fucked this too many times in the back shed,

And now I see the fruit of my loom,

So I sit in despair and helplessness for the fault is mine alone

And how can you fight yourself?

Guilt sprinkles an eerie horn,

But I shall sing with the crows,

Close my eyes,

And pray for sweet music in the morning,

You would hate my mind right now,

But I can’t catch it,

You smelled it earlier, so you lay on my floor now,

With your palms on your stomach,

And our melodic narration of a brighter yesterday

Hitting the sky and falling back,

You sway and stretch,

But I am lost so I cannot show you the way,

I have not been here before,

The rosebuds are in my neck but I can only feel the thorns,

This is the darkest my pupils have been for nearly half a lifetime,

For you,

The change is bout to happen…


Copyright © 2014

Those Eyes

Baby, I pose a cold push,

But I need you near,

Never listen to my dark gem,

Like an eerie negative, It’s not the true yang,

But ever-convincing, I know,

It’s always easier to believe pain,

You can’t deny its feel,

But with you, it couldn’t be more false,

A facade, a mirage,

A helmet for my heart,

I want you all around me,

But more than that,

I want you to want me all around you,

I don’t know what you are yet,

I don’t know how to wear you,

I’m scared to think of the potential depth and unmentionable timing,

So please baby, please,

Talk To Me,

Tell me everything,

I want to know it all,

How my eyes make you melt,

How my touch quivers your mind,

How my thought makes you soar,

How my pain strikes hard,

How my worst goes right through you,

I want to be your woman,

And that scares me,

Your silent bravery is a dangerously slow heartbeat,

Each spike nearly spurs ecstasy,

But the questioning wait persists,

I strive for raw clarity,

So I can wrap it with a bow for you,

Cupcake and my earthquake,

I have to close my eyes,

But there is still so much to say,

Three heavenly rivers in one twirl,

The music has stopped,

Reasons are exposed,

All because of your accidental outloud thought,

My world stops and my body erupts,

We should jump right in,

Hand in hand,

Heart in heart,

With the glow of a full moon and a festival of love,

Are we getting carried away?

Or is this reality?

Talk to me baby,

I need to hear it from your lips,

It won’t reach me any other way,

Are you ready for the crazy?

‘Cause it’s regrettably included,

Are you ready for the choices?

‘Cause I know what’s ahead and it hurts oh so good,

But only if you let it and let it in completely,

From a distance, a stranger’s glance,

It will shine white,

But close up, you will feel every color and respective baggage,

I am cursed with the need for reassurance,

I question love always,

I am sorry, I am so sorry,

But I hope you are not sorry,

I need you to be my nonjudgmental rock,

I need support even when I am wrong,

I need strength when I have been wronged,

I need so much,

But when it is all boiled,

All I really need,

Are those eyes,

Those eyes that look at every part of me with red passionate rays,

And overwhelmingly,

I just want to be everything for you.

Copyright © 2014

Electronics

Face time is the only real thing,

So many electronically removed touches,

They just don’t cut it,

They are sweet and will do but not for long,

I need the sweat,

I need the smell,

I need those eyes.

***Prelude to Those Eyes


Copyright © 2014